Et tu brutal?

by Ambareesh Sr Ja


                               I find it difficult to say ‘No’. It’s my Achilles heel. Not that it’s my only one- imagine a human centipede with thousand feet, and this is a particularly rotten heel. It crudely influences the way I think, act and in some chronic cases – even speak. I avoid confrontations as much as possible and when I absolutely have to, I make it as brief as possible. No blowing off steam to instil fear, no pulling smug faces to induce guilt. There were instances when I rarely did, but then those were really desperate times. All the other while my default excuse was – “Char log dekhenge toh kya sochenge?” (*what will others think?)

Tch Tch. Such an average Joe.

Hard decisions. How do you make hard decisions? How do you decide whose head would roll when they wake up on a pleasant Monday morning, unaware in bliss? At what point does being conscientious cross over to brutality? Funny how our brains are hard wired to ask the wrong questions, all the time.

Cruelty is remarkable. One, among very few things, that truly depends on perspective. It closely resembles a diamond. The bright emanating rays are due solely upon the way you hold it up in the light.

Take a deep breath, lean back and look away from the silver screen for a moment. Go into that Sherlock-esque mind palace of yours; it might not be as well illuminated as his, but you can still find your way around. Move into those dark nooks and corners, struggle past a few sticky cobwebs. There you shall find them, buried deep underneath those dusty scrolls, where they were conveniently forgotten. Now you see them, vivid and clear. All those deeds of blood curdling savagery.

Did you just shake your head in disbelief, mocking my self-righteous rant? You did. You just pulled a come-on-I’m-too-sweet-for-this smirk! Go on- dim the lights, tilt the screen, look at your image, turn to your good side and fake a smile. Hey! You look so adorable. How convincing!


Perspective. Being on the right side of the wrong wall.  Nothing is ever the way it seems. A routine act for a spider is “ …chaos to a fly”.

But let this all not alarm you. If it wasn’t for all this ‘perfect imperfections’ wouldn’t we all be boring empty bottles of wine?

Remember the diamond analogy? Ruthlessness has its own matchless value. How do you think we outlived those gigantic flesh eating monsters? We suffered, we let suffer. We survived, we had to.  There wasn’t really another choice.

  Sweet are them pair of eyes,

That didn’t see those bloody nails.

Aren’t only those wise,

Who don’t hide their lies?

But that was long long ago, and I don’t see the point of it all now. Maybe I am an average Joe after all, I don’t get the bigger picture, God bless the rest.

Greed may be good, I’m not so sure of cruelty. I don’t mind a bunch of Gekko-s, but another Hitler? No, Thank you.

-Sr Ja

(May the souls of those little angels who perished in the horrific Taliban Peshawar school massacre, rest in peace)